I Met Three Amazing Women in 24 Hours

I've learned a couple things this week. First, having five meetings in a day pretty much precludes you from getting anything else done. Second, I am privileged to know some incredible women. I wanted you to know just a little bit about these wonderful people whom I had the chance to spend time with in such a short period this week.

Friend and former Clovis Chamber member Tracy Barnes came in to rejoin with her business, Premier Bride. She and business partner Kristy Montgomery started with the magazine Premier Bride, added a bridal show, a second city version of the Premier Bride magazine, a third and original magazine called "His" and now they are opening the Premier Bridge Wedding Center. They have sold His Magazine to a local entrepreneur, but they still run all the other businesses with just two people.

In addition to this budding empire, Tracy has two children, one is just barely two. She is also very creative and has had to slow herself down with all the ideas that she's had for expanding their business. One thing at a time, Tracy! I don't know how Tracy and Kristy do all of this, but now that they are back in the Chamber, I'll be studying their techniques.

The next morning, I had a phone conversation with Lisa Marie Platske, who very graciously gave me her time even though we've only met in person once (although we've maintained contact via email). She gave me great advice, based on her personal experience, but she said one thing in particular that is going to stick with me:

It's not about starting big,
it's about just starting and having a big plan.

Isn't it obvious that someone who wrote a book called "Designing your Destiny" would think like this?

And finally, I met with Jill Hendrickson, who is also an author. We "met" on Twitter, then she attended the Prosperity Forum last week. Jill has traveled extensively and we both have a great passion for the food and culture of Japan, where she lived and worked for 10 years. She also spent a great deal of time traveling and living in Italy, which was the inspiration for her book "Lose Weight, Italian Style!" Jill has an extensive journalism background, so she felt very comfortable with the writing. Now, it's time for her to step out of her comfort zone and do the marketing and networking. Can it be "out of your comfort zone" if you seem to be so comfortable with it? It seems to me that Jill will be learning this new skill very quickly.

I've just started reading the book, but I really appreciate her perspective in just this little bit. It is definitely less a "diet" book and much more about a luxurious culinary lifestyle.


I hope all of you will take the time to learn more about the businesses of these incredible women. Perhaps you'll be fortunate and meet them some day.

What is a Networked Cold-Call? And How do We Handle It?

A “networked cold-call” is a promotional message, sales pitch or invitation that comes through networking channels.

It’s like getting a direct marketing piece in the mail except that a networked cold-call is much more awkward to deal with if you’re not interested. Got a direct mail pitch? Not interested in the product or service? Just toss the catalog, letter, or postcard in the mail and no one is the wiser.

Even a cold-call that comes over the phone seems to be easier to deal with. Either you’re interested or not, but no one has any kind of emotional investment in the conversation. You tell them “No, thank you” and then you end the call. Unless you are someone who takes telemarketing calls personally.

Photo courtesy of VLima.com from Flickr

And that’s what I think makes “networked cold-calling” so uncomfortable. It’s delivered personally, either face-to-face at a networking event or through messaging channels on the social media sites. And it’s probably someone you don’t really know, but they know someone you know or you’ve met them at a networking event and exchanged a few words. So now it feels personal in that there's no separation. If you're not interested, it feels like you are rejecting them. Most people don't like to do that in person.

What do you say? How do you respond? Do you respond when it comes through the social media channels? I’m no expert, I’ve certainly made a few blunders in this area, but here are a few thoughts on handling it:

• You can ignore sales pitches that come via DM in Twitter. It’s probably an autoresponder and there’s no one real on the other end. They are throwing tons of spaghetti to see what sticks.
  
  
• I’m experiencing less message selling on Facebook, except for event invitations that come through the groups I’ve joined. I signed up for the groups because I wanted to know what’s going on, but if you don’t like the messages, just drop out of the group. And if someone is a relentless promoter, you can hide all their messages.
  
  
• LinkedIn seems to be a challenge but I think you should take these messages seriously, especially if they are personalized. Respond as graciously as you can, but make sure you respect the salesperson’s time by making it clear that you are not interested.
  
  
• Face to face at a networking event. This is the hardest one of all. There is a range of techniques, from passive aggressive (agree the whole time but don’t do anything) to passive (just blank stare) to educational (invite them to participate in a Little Miracles PAK).

I’m interested in your thoughts, of course and I’ll have another post later this week going into more detail on handling face to face “networked cold calling.” (If you don’t want to miss the post, sign up for Google Reader and subscribe to my RSS feed.)

Why Do We Feel Compelled to Change the Name?

Has networking been so ruined, so misused, and so misapplied that we've got to change the name? Or is it just marketing? Why do experienced, well-known writers, bloggers and speakers need to find euphemisms for networking? It's called "connecting" or "networlding" or other names. Sometimes there is simply a refusal to call networking by its name.

I find it funny because selling and sales and salespeople also have a bad reputation, but I don't see the same tendency to try to rename or reframe the activity. Am I missing some metaphors for sales and selling? I'm curious if you can think of one ...

Are We Obligated to Meet Everyone?

I recently encountered the opinion that we should be willing to meet with anyone who asks for a meeting, because we never know what kind of opportunities will open up.

At first, I thought "maybe". I could see where you could want to be open to anyone who approaches you. As an avid networker, I really shouldn't turn down any opportunities.

Then I came to my senses.

We all have a lot of demands on our time. While we can be open to serendipitous meetings, we can't allow others to dictate how we choose to spend it. If I met with everyone who wanted to meet with me to tell me about their product or business opportunity, I would have a full time job listening to them. Some day I'll tell you about Jay Petersen's diabolical plan to address those who want to pitch him.

There are obligations we must meet, including our employers' expectations, the needs of our families, and a little bit of sleep. We've got to have priorities that also include those people we have already established relationships with and those who are our targeted markets.

Can you expect to demand someone's time and be disappointed or upset when they don't oblige you? Good networking skills require us to make an investment in the other person first, before we can ask for something from them. Thinking that our need for their time indebts them to us is akin to taking a negative response to a cold-call personally.

If you want someone's time, you've got to make sure there is value in it for them, not just for yourself. That is a fundamental rule of networking. Give first before you ask for something as precious, fleeting, and irreplaceable as their time.

Survey: Networking is Top Tool for Job Seekers

It's not surprising to me that networking is considered to be an effective job seeking strategy. But a survey released today says that human resource professionals consider it to be the most effective of any strategies. The survey, conducted by an outplacement firm, asked the HR executives to rate a number of job search strategies on a scale of 1 to 5 (one is least effective, five is most). On average, they scored networking at a four. Sending out resumes, the "tried and true" method, scored less than true. And, justification for you Twitter addicts: social networking ranked second highest.

Guess what, job seekers? Send less time sending nearly anonymous resumes and spend more time meeting new people and more time exploring the connections of your best contacts. And use the internet social media sites to enhance your in-person efforts.

While it's a bit of a stretch to apply this to small business owners (especially those in multi-level or direct marketing companies), I'm going to make a connection anyway.

Sending out resumes is like sending out direct mail pieces. You might have researched your targets, narrowing down a certain segment or conducting research that indicates they might be a good prospect, but it's still an impersonal effort.

Job fairs (which ranked the worst) are like cold-calling. You and 50 other people are trying to get the attention of just a few employers or potential buyers. Cold-calling requires thick skin and a willingness to put in a lot of work to make the numbers add up.

Networking on the other hand, means that your efforts are extremely targeted. Someone is recommending you, vouching for you. You're not a faceless resume or cold-call. You're someone's referral or a friend of a friend who can be trusted.

And just like job searching, it's important that networking is not your only job search or business promotion activity. Treat it as your flagship effort, but back it up with other activities so that you don't depend on one facet of a job search or business promotion effort.

For the full article, visit
http://www.centralvalleybusinesstimes.com/stories/001/?ID=12816

You Have to Want the Results Badly Enough

We've been talking about motivating ourselves to network. It's hard these days to make ourselves do one more thing, even if we know it's something good for us. It's even harder if we're not a huge fan of networking. Now, if you hate networking, that's another issue and you've got a harder task. Let's assume that you are okay with networking, but you don't love it just for the sake of doing it. So if you're not extra-enthusiastic, how do you motivate yourself to network?

You don't have to love the process, you just have to love, want, and need the results.

Who likes to diet? But we all love fitting into a smaller size and feeling healthier.

Lots of people don't really enjoy getting sweaty and out-of-breath from exercise, but they do enjoy getting stronger, improving their quality of life and maybe fitting into that pair of pants in the back of the closet.

Maybe you don't really want to get up and go to work every day, but you strongly desire the result of having money to pay for a place to live and food for your children.

Again, if you hate work, or networking, or exercising, it's going to be less fun and harder to motivate yourself. But if you want the positive results badly enough, you'll do it. And it could eventually make the path to getting there a lot less unpleasant. Who knows, you might even enjoy the process some day.

Wisdom from Jay Petersen, Head Geek in Charge

I had the excellent experience of spending a little one-on-one time with Jay this afternoon. If you don't know Jay, check out his company website here and make sure to check out the blog which is full of helpful computer maintenance and prevention tips.

As always, it was a free-ranging conversation covering many topics, but we always have to include a little bit of networking analysis. We were talking about people who treat networking as if it were cold-calling. You know the approach. The moment you're introduced, they start giving you a presentation about their product. Next thing you know, you've been invited to an event, a demo, or given a link to a site with a "short video."

This is usually the result of over eagerness, pressure from above, or a misunderstanding of networking that leads them to think that networking is about selling. You can't blame someone for not having the experience to realize that pitching someone on the first meeting is probably going to close a future door. And rarely does anyone clue them in on their approach. It's a trap that even experienced networkers fall into occasionally. We find a sympathetic or even interested-seeming ear and we go into sales mode.

And yet we get annoyed or self-righteous when our overture is rejected? Here's the wise observation from Mr. Jay:

If you use an impersonal approach in networking, you can't take their response (positive or negative) personally.

So if you cold-call, or give a sales pitch on the first meeting, you cannot take it personally if you don't get the response you want. You didn't make it person-to-person or face-to-face or friend-to-friend. You made it an impersonal sales presentation because you didn't bother to get to know about their needs or wants. You just presented to a warm body who stood still long enough to listen. If they treat you like a telemarketer who called during dinner, you can't blame them.

Jay and I have a mutual friend, Dale Bierce who represents Sandler Sales Training in the Central Valley of California. Dale is a tremendous source of sales wisdom. He teaches us that we have to become emotionally tough in selling. You're just in a role and that you have to work on this aspect of your attitude if you are going to be successful in sales. If you're going to treat your networking as if it were a sales forum, then you must learn this lesson.

I prefer to make it personal first by getting to know people. Of course, you still can't take success or rejection personally, but that's a topic for another day.

More on Motivating Yourself to Network

In thinking more about yesterday's post on motivating yourself, I have a couple more thoughts.

If you're still having a hard time getting yourself to go to a networking event or participating in any kind of deliberate network building activities, you've got to find more compelling reasons to do the work.

• Make a list of every possible benefit. Sit down with a pen and paper and write down every possible benefit, advantage, and prospect you would want to gain from participating in networking. Get detailed. Get imaginative. They may or may not be realistic, but they might be possible.

For example, networking might help you:

• Get a new client
• Build your reputation
• Find an amazing dentist/chiropractor/printer/drycleaner, etc.
• Remind someone to send you a referral
• Make you a new friend
• Find an old friend
• Give someone help that saves them a lot of trouble
• Impress your boss with something you learn
• Meet the love of your life
• Help you find a home for the stray cat who showed up on your porch
• Find a luncheon group who wants you as a speaker

Except for meeting the love of my life (which I managed on my own, thank you), networking has accomplished all of these things for me and more. But I do know of a couple who has been married 20 years after meeting at a Clovis Chamber event. So they are all possible.

Are any of these appealing to you? Would any of these results be beneficial? Would they be worth the investment of an hour or two? Would accomplishing one of these make you find just a little bit of time and energy?

Getting Motivated to Network

I promised my newsletter subscribers that I would start talking about the challenges that they face in networking enough to achieve their goals.

One challenge that I've seen in several different forms is being motivated to network or having the desire to attend events.

This is a tough one because if you don't want to go, you will find many excellent and legitimate reasons to avoid networking events. There is so much to do, we're so busy doing so many things, that you could fill every hour with important work which will keep you away from networking.

You are not going to be successful at networking unless you want to do it. And yet you know networking is important to business success, so you sort of want to, but you just can't get motivated enough to quite make it to an event.

My friend Dr. IWannaWanna says it's not enough to "want to" do something, but you have to "want to, want to." I take it as meaning that we all "want to" do stuff like be successful, have a lot of money, etc. but that's not enough. We have to "want to" take some actual action to make these things happen. Dr. IWannaWanna has a very good point. What's funny is that one of the things he doesn't wanna do is network! And I don't think I could talk circles around him fast enough to convince him.

But I don't have to convince him. I don't even have to convince you. You have to do it. So how do you make yourself want to network? I have several methods of convincing myself to do things:

• Get to the root reason why. Networking for the sake of networking isn't going to be very inspiring unless you already love it. Networking because your boss told you to isn't going to make you like it either. But, do you networking because you want to grow your business, because you have a young family you want to support? Providing for your children is a compelling reason.
• Trick yourself. This is how I get in a lot of exercise. I tell myself, "just five minutes and then you can quit." By that time I've gotten warmed up and feel like doing a little more. Tell yourself, "I'll just talk to one person and then I'll leave." Next thing you know, they're cleaning up around you.
• Reward yourself. Allow yourself to stop at and see your favorite barista if you go. Let yourself come to work 30 minutes late because you networked late. Treat yourself in some way for putting in the effort.
• Team up with a friend. Your friend will be counting on you to meet them there. And, if your friend is shy or introverted, you'll be helping them out by being there to introduce them to people. Having someone else involved keeps you accountable.
• Have a specific goal or reason. Just going for the sake of attending isn't going to be as appealing as "looking for a new supplier" or "finding out who's renting the new commercial space."
  
• Get results and keep track of them. Nothing is more motivating than when you start to see the fruits of your labors. And, keep track of your results because its easy to forget them when the days get long and the memory of the great connections gets pushed aside by your busy days.

Is this helpful? Do you have a truly compelling reason to network? Do you have a plan? Are you bringing in outside resources to help yourself?

Tell me about your tricks and what works for you.

Learning from Brian Clark's Authority Rules

I downloaded a copy of Brian Clark's free ebook Authority Rules (found out about it from Twitter, of course). Very interesting and definitely worth the little bit of reading time it will take to work through this pithy and to-the-point report. It's written in the style of Seth Godin; i.e., it's short but if you work through everything in it, you've got a lot of studying and work to do.

But I had to laugh, because an experience I had today clearly illustrated one of Brian's key points. On page 7 he says

What other people say about you is more important than what you say about yourself.

Tomorrow, the Clovis Chamber Seminar Series will be a hands-on session to set up Twitter accounts for our members. We sent an email out to our members reminding them of the event. One of the emails we got back was from someone who definitely does their homework.

I was listed as the presenter. He went to Twitter and did a search on my name. But all the results he got for "Beth Bridges" were for people who had fewer than 11 followers. I'm thinking he was pretty perplexed at this point wondering why the Chamber seminar was being run by someone who either he couldn't find on Twitter or who had only a few followers.

He sent an email to our Communications Director pointing this out. Of course, she sent the email to me. I thought it was funny, but I appreciated his diligence in wanting to know whether or not I had the authority to be presenting the seminar.

Here's where this blog ties in with Brian Clark's report and the specific quote written above. Instead of sending an email back to the inquirer protesting that I was indeed someone with a decent amount of followers, I asked my friends to reassure the gentleman that, indeed, I did know a few things about Twitter and that I was qualified to teach the seminar. Definitely an attempt (successful, I think) to assure him of my authority by asking other people to confirm it, not just me saying it.

It all worked out very well because one friend pointed out the fallability of Twitter's search function and I admitted that I had made an error in my profile which made it harder for a search to find me. And, my new friend is going to help out with the seminar tomorrow, too.

Several Random Thoughts & Experiences

Just a few unrelated thoughts and topics.

A Phenomenon that I'm Curious About

Over the last several weeks I've spoken to three different Rotary Clubs. Whenever (and wherever) I speak, I always ask audience members to fill out a very quick and simple three-question survey. I always ask the same way, "Please take just a minute. It's completely anonymous and helps me learn more about networking and improve my presentations."

When I speak to the Central Valley Professionals job club, every person fills it out. When I spoke to real estate agents at Newton & Sons in Dinuba and London Properties in Clovis, every one of them fill it out. But for the Rotary Clubs, fewer than 20% fill out the form.

I truly wonder why? Is there a better way to present it to them? Any ideas for how I can get a better response?

Rediscovering Old Friends

You never know when you're going to run into someone. At London Properties this morning, I started my presentation and finally realized why the gentleman sitting in the front looked so familiar. I had worked for him nearly 20 years ago in my first job out of college. It was an excellent learning experience and I admired the business that he and his partner had built. We caught up just briefly and I'm glad to learn that he's got a great life. And, I realized who he reminds me of (or who reminds me of him); Dave Foley from Kids in the Hall and NewsRadio.

Losing Old Friends

On a sad note. This weekend, long-term active Chamber member Jim Wilson of J&E Business Services passed away unexpectedly. Jim had this gravelly voice that sounded - if you didn't know him - as if he was angry. But he was one of the most even-tempered, straight-forward, no-nonsense people I knew. He was very tall and would stand close and talk right down to me, which I found intimidating until I met his wife. She's shorter than I am, so he must have been used to talking with her! Jim had a guant, Clint Eastwood look until he smiled with a surprisingly boyish grin.

We'll sure miss you Jim.

What I REALLY Said to "Mr. Bad Networker"

A couple weeks ago, I wrote "Do They Really Think This is Networking?" It was prompted by a message I received on LinkedIn. The imaginary response I wrote in the post was some venting because I receive a lot of these kinds of invitations. But it was also important to make the point that we have to think about the way our invitations are perceived.

I would never actually respond that way to anyone. Of course, if "Mr. Bad Networker" read this blog, then they would probably take it personally. I'd be sorry if that was the case, because it wouldn't be intended that way. And as I told all of you in this follow-up post, I had completely forgotten the source of the email and couldn't even find the original message. Some of you are a little less tender-minded; you said to send what I wrote in the blog!

Either way, I couldn't ignore it. The message was too good a learning opportunity to pass up so I posted it. I got excellent feedback on the points I had made, including a positive comment by Bob Burg, author of Endless Referrals (I checked on Twitter, it is the Bob Burg).

Guess what... I found the original message. And, I had sent them a reply!

Want to know what I really said to Mr Bad Networker's invitation? Here it is.

Hi ****,

Thank you very much for your offer.

I guess we haven't met before? I thought we knew each other from ****.

Are you meeting a lot of people to discuss **** (I'm familiar with the company/product)?

Is LinkedIn working well for you as a marketing tool? I'm really into the Social Networking thing and always curious how other people are using it.

Thanks,
Beth

I think it's an good response. Not committing to anything, but not shutting the door at all. I'm asking them to engage in more dialog. I'm asking questions about our history together. And I'm providing them with a link to what we might have in common.

As far as I can tell, I did not get a response to this message. Perhaps it went awry? Or did they not get the response they wanted? I'm definitely willing to give them the benefit of the doubt ... but then there's more to this story, of course, which I may or may not reveal.

In the meantime, I'm very interested in your opinion of my original response. Was it a good way to handle this kind of request?

Is the Space Time Continuum Affecting Your Networking?

I used to think that the reason I'd see so many networking friends wherever I went was because I spent too much time networking. Or because Fresno and Clovis are part of a small world. But now I think it has more to do with the space time continuum. Specifically with the effects of massive objects on the space time continuum, which is where gravity comes from.

Illustration from Flickr by Rodrigo Senna

Since the math is incredibly complicated, the History Channel usually uses a sheet of rubber, a bowling ball, and a ping pong ball to explain how a large object (the bowling ball) distorts the fabric of space time (the rubber sheet). Then the smaller object (the ping pong ball) is introduced. If it's sent toward the bowling ball on an angle, it will orbit around until it runs out of energy and is irresistibly drawn into the bowling ball. Here's the video clip.

We (individuals) are the lighter objects. Our favorite groups (yes, even the Chamber) are like the larger objects. Their massive size has a greater effect on the fabric of space time (i.e. the community we are in). We're drawn in, where we meet many of the same people who are in the area and are attracted by the same gravity that affected us.

So networking outside of our regular groups is like fighting the forces of gravity. It takes extra effort to move further away from the massive objects that have a strong attraction. Look how much energy it takes to launch a space craft out of the Earth's gravity well.

Okay, maybe the analogy isn't perfect. But the next time your favorite networking adviser nags you to go somewhere different and get out of your comfort zone, you can blame it on the space time continuum. Who can fight that?

P.S. It's also a great excuse for being late. "Hey, space and time are the same thing, so really I've been here all along."

A Networking Fairy Tale Featuring Humpty Dumpty

Humpty Dumpty opened a new business selling walls. He found a retail space, spent a lot of money on inventory, and then threw the doors open one nice spring day.

Nobody came. He sat in the store and waited. Business was slow. He asked his neighbor, Miss Muffet if it was a bad neighborhood, but she didn't know because she had agoraphobia and never went outside. He asked his other neighbor, Jack Sprat (a physical trainer) what he should do. "Advertise," said Jack. But Humpty didn't have any money left.

Little Boy Blue told him to cold call, but Humpty didn't know how to craft a good message. The Old Lady who lived in the shoe down the street suggested direct mail, but Humpty didn't know where to get a list. Mary, Mary, the contrarian, told him to find a new target market, but Humpty didn't even know who was in his old target market.

Finally, one of the king's men told him about a networking event down at the castle that was being sponsored by the local Chamber of Commerce. Humpty hemmed and hawed, but finally decided that at the very least, he'd get something to eat and he could leave if it wasn't any good.

Humpty Dumpty had a great time! He met a marketing expert who could help him find low-cost advertising. He was introduced to a sales specialist who told him where to find cold-calling scripts. He found out that the Chamber had a seminar on direct mailing strategies. The Chamber Membership Director suggested some good books on guerilla marketing and then invited him to become a member.

Humpty joined the Chamber and all summer long he enjoyed excellent networking events, learned a great deal about running a small business, and saved money through the Chamber advertising discounts. He told all his friends that they should join the Chamber, too, and together they developed terrific, long-term mutally beneficial relationships with everyone in town.

And as September, October and November rolled by, Humpty counted up the profits and realized he'd had a great fall!

My Real Response to the Bad Networker on LinkedIn

I can't find the sender of the message on LinkedIn that prompted this post.

I'll keep looking though, because the consensus seems to be that it would be very important to respond to the person. Not in the way that I wrote in the first post. That was a little bit of self-indulgent venting. But in a way that is helpful, positive and encouraging. Otherwise, how will that person ever grow and become more successful if no one lets them know what they're doing isn't being well-received?

But what to say?!

I'm eagerly awaiting a column by my friend Tiffany Nielsen of Premier Etiquette that will be published in tomorrow's Business Street Online. But here's my first draft of my serious, respectful, and (hopefully) helpful reply:

Thank you for your message. I appreciate that you feel I could be very helpful to you in building your business. I'm also flattered that you believe I have influence with my contacts. I've worked long and hard to build relationships and develop trust with the people I know.

I believe that a strong network is vital to business success and that good business people deal with each other in a straightforward and honest way. Therefore, I have to let you know that your approach, while sounding like good networking on the surface, didn't have the effect that you may have hoped for.

In networking, or even in plain old selling, there needs to be a benefit for both parties. I understand the benefit for you if we got together and I provided you with leads, but I have to ask where the benefit is for me? There is very little motivation on my part to make this appointment.

And I hope you understand that from my perspective, there is a great deal of risk on my part since I don't know you and aren't familiar with your product. It's nothing personal - how could it be since we've never met? - but I would be making recommendations to my friends based on one meeting designed to help you, without addressing any of my needs.

That's it so far. What do you think?

And how do I wrap it up? Have a meeting anyway? Invite them to a Chamber event? Find some way to learn more about them without a meeting?

All ideas and suggestions will be taken seriously.

Do They Really Think This is Networking?

The LinkedIn invitation came with the standard header: Invitation to Connect. I didn't recognize the name, but I opened the invite out of curiosity. Here's the entire text of the message:

I know you know a lot of people that have been impacted by the economy and are keeping their options open to making some extra money part time. I would enjoy the opportunity to introduce myself and share with you what I am doing to see if it is a good fit for anyone you know!

I didn't respond. But if I was going to, here's what I would say to Mr. Bad Networker:

Yes, I do know a lot of people because I've worked hard at getting to know them, earning their trust, and building a relationship with them. I'm not ready to throw that all away for your benefit. You didn't even pretend to be interested in helping me.

And of course you would enjoy the opportunity to introduce yourself, but what about me? Would I enjoy being used as your sales tool? Do you really think I value my relationships so little that I'm seriously going to introduce you to them?

I have some credibility to maintain so I can't imagine myself listening to your sales pitch and then giving you contact information for my network. How would I introduce you? I would have to say, "Hey Bob, I just met this person. They have no interest in me personally but they would very much like to make money off of you. How about giving them your time? And bring your Rolodex, I'm sure they'll want to be introduced to your friends."

If you want to sell to people rather than engage in real networking, knock yourself out ... but don't involve me.

What would you say to them?

One Last Networking Lesson from MJ

Jackie Collins was the guest on the Dennis Miller show earlier this week. Of course, the conversation turned toward Michael Jackson. Dennis asked Jackie if she was friends with Michael. She said they didn't see each other more than a few times, but she very clearly remembered the first time they met.

Jackie was attending a big Hollywood party, full of major stars, at a very large mansion. While she mixed and mingled, the hostess approached her and asked for a favor.

Apparently Michael Jackson has arrived, but was out front with a full-blown case of shyness. The hostess thought that Jackie would be able to talk him into coming into the party. Jackie went out and Michael was outside, nervous and worried about meeting people like Sean Connery. "What would I say to them? What would they think of me?" he told her.

Jackie Collins, in her sophisticated British accent, laughed and said she told him he was a bigger star than any of them. He eventually did go into the party and had a wonderful time.

So the next time you're feeling shy about entering a party, remember how a great entertainer like Michael Jackson felt that way. Take a deep breath and enter the room like you're as big a star as anyone. I'm no Jackie Collins, but you might thank me anyway.

How to Keep Your Networking Commitments

How do you keep yourself from deciding to ditch a networking event at the last minute?

It's easy to pencil them in on your calendar, especially at the beginning of the week right after that first cup of coffee, but it's a lot harder to go when you get to the end of day and you're tired. My friend Kristan has a great idea.

"Make me volunteer to help you," she said. "That way, I'll be sure to go."

Commit yourself in advance. If someone else is depending on you, you're much less likely to decide to skip it at the last minute. And you'll probably have a much more productive time if you've got a goal when you get there.

Your Business Can Learn from Superchex

No, Superchex isn't a heroic breakfast cereal, it's the Superior Chamber Executives of Northern California. Every few months they put on a day-long seminar that's relevant to chamber staff. This time it was membership's turn, so 50 Chamber executives gathered in the CalChamber office for "Membership Development & Retention in Whitewater Times."

Sounds like a day of esoteric information of interest only to a few lonely Membership Directors (there's usually only one of us per town). But I took away great information from the speakers that would benefit anyone's business.

From Dave Kilby, CEO of the Western Association of Chamber Executives:

• There are three keys to success for Chambers
  1. Dedicated volunteer leadership (for small businesses this means cultivating clients who have an interest in seeing you succeed.)
  2. The best professional staff you can afford.
  3. Programs that meet the needs of your members (i.e. products that meet the needs of your customers.)
• The number one question a chamber needs to ask itself: "WHY is this activity/announcement/event, etc. important to our members?" (Ask yourself, "WHY is this service/marketing campaign/product important to our clients?")

From Ben Wolf, Vice President of Member Services for the Nashville Chamber:

• Don't get sucked into blaming everything on "the economy." The solution to "the economy" is to sell ourselves out of this.
  
• Membership is everyone's job (clients/customers are everyone's job). No members (no clients)? Then no one has a job whether or not their title includes the word "member" (or "customer").
• We need to return to "high touch" marketing. It's easy to use technology to do it.

Jeni Coke, Membership Investment & Relationship Manager for the Lake Havasu Area Chamber:

• If you can find a way for other people to benefit from helping you, not only will you get help, but you'll get more than you expected. (Jeni told a great story about an Ambassador who was starting a new insurance office. Email or Tweet me (or Jeni!) to find out how this new agent/Ambassador got 1 out of 5 people she cold-visited to call her back.)
• People rarely know that you've referred them, so use three-way calling to make the introduction as soon as someone calls for a referral. "Hello, Bob? I have Joan on the phone, she called me looking for a real estate agent who could help her. I thought of you and now I have Joan on the phone. Joan, this is Bob." Bob will never forget that you have referred to him.

From Scott Ashton, Director of Sales & Marketing for the Oceanside Chamber:

• Packaging your services together can help you sell more. (This can apply to any business, but especially service businesses - spas do it all the time.)
• It's even more important to continue adding value for your members (and your customers).
• Scott allows non-members to sponsor their events. My lesson from this is to not be elitist about where your revenue is coming from. You might also build new relationships from unexpected sources.
  

Can Non-Networkers Be Successful, Part 2

As I said on Monday, everyone I know does at least a little bit of networking. They want to network because they know it's useful and important to their business growth. But I started wondering how people who adamantly think they don't need networking grow their business. I posted the question here and there are some great responses, all of them worth reading.

I also asked this question on LinkedIn. You can read all the thoughtful answers I've received here. I've had a variety of responses, all of which made me really think. But here's the most important thing I've realized from their comments is this:

EVERYBODY networks.
Everyone has to develop some kind of relationship with at least a few people in order to survive.

But I'm not talking about people who have accidentally or incidentally developed some relationships that work for them. If you're in business and you're not a complete a--hole, you'll build a rudimentary network.

I'm talking about strategic networking. The deliberate cultivation of a wide variety of relationships for the specific purpose of reaching goals quicker, faster, and easier.

It seems like you can build a certain level of success with hard work, lots of cold-calling and a careful advertising campaign. But it seems to me that strategic networking would make it all happen faster, quicker, and easier.

Over the next few days, I'll see if I can get permission to quote the who answered my LinkedIn question and I'll summarize them here.

Can Non-Networkers Be Successful?

In my world, everyone networks.

They all understand that it is important, they'll accomplish things more easily and that they will be more successful by developing mutually beneficial relationships with other people.

There are people out there who can't relate to others of a different race, different socio-economic backgrounds, or different political backgrounds. They aren't able to even imagine how those people think.

I can't wrap my head around the thought process of people who absolutely believe they don't need to network, don't have to network, and don't want to network.

How do they make a living? Can they be successful? Who does business with someone who doesn't want to give or share, but only takes? Do they spend all their money on advertising and wait for the phone to ring? Are they masters of cold-calling? Who do they call when they need help?

What's your take on it? Help me understand a world that I've never visited and tell me how dedicated non-networkers survive in the business world.

Time is Always the Issue

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.” ~Albert Einstein

"Lately, it doesn't seem to be working." ~Anonymous

Just like it's easy for extroverts to give great advice to shy people about networking ("Don't be shy"), it's easy for someone whose job is to network to tell you to "just make the time."

Let me try to give you some ideas on finding the time to network that don't include the usual tried-and-true time management advice (because you know all about that, right?).

Picture from Flickr by FionaAndNeil

• Maybe you're not "finding time" to networking because you're getting bored. Or you're not having fun any more. Or you're not getting results. If it was fun and productive, you'd find the time.
• Are you avoiding events because they take a big chunk of time out of one day? If your association luncheon runs from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m., including travel time, that's 2 1/2 hours you've got to carve out. Maybe it's time for shorter bursts of networking. Try a no agenda event (such as mixers) where you can run in for just 20 minutes.
• Combine activities. Can you invite a client to the association event? Take a new contact to lunch? Mix business with pleasure?
• Try Speed Networking or BlitzTime events which are set up to maximize the number of people you meet.
• Take a leadership position. You'll spend more time working for the organization or group, but you'll gain much more exposure to more people all at once.
• Recruit ambassadors or champions to help expand your sphere of influence (you should probably do the same for them!).

How do you save time when networking? Or how do you maximize your results from the time you spend? Feel free to leave your comments.

Buy Local Means Buying from Local People

A couple weeks ago, I saw a presentation on a Bay Area city's "Buy Local" campaign. They've worked hard and put together some nice materials for their program. Perhaps it works for the unique outlook that their city has, but I could never support such a campaign here. According to their criteria, many of our Clovis Chamber members would be excluded.

People who live, work, breathe, eat, and sleep Clovis would be left out of their program because they are an independent agent of a nationwide company. Or because the business owner lives outside the city limits. Or because they are part of a national chain.

But these are still people who live here, who join the Chamber, and who show up to get face to face with their customers. They've put themselves out into the community because they care about the people they live next to and work with.

How could we have a program that says "Sorry, but I'm going to tell people to not buy from you." Of course, the campaign creators in the Bay Area town have said they're not telling people to not shop at certain stores, but the undercurrent is there. They are defining "us" and "them" and telling you to not do business with "them."

Personally, I'll keep doing business with the people who live and work here. With the people who tell me - by their action of showing up and looking me in the eye - that they want and appreciate my business. I hope you do, too.

Boiling Down the Essence of Networking for Job Seekers

Tomorrow I am speaking at an event for job seekers. I have 20 minutes to give them vital information on using networking to help them find a job. What can I say in that little bit of time that will help them as much as possible?

First, they need to be convinced of the benefits. I think there are three main ways that networking helps job seekers:

1. It exposes the hidden job market. According to www.QuintCareers.com, less than 20% of jobs are ever advertised. The way to find these jobs is through networking.
2. You'll get insight into companies and job titles. People who've worked for specific companies or in particular job areas can give you information not otherwise available.
3. The next time you're in a job search, you'll have a stronger, more useful network helping you (assuming you stay in touch with people you met in your first search).

Second, they have to be very good at explaining what they are looking for in as few words as possible. The worst things I see people who are in a job search do are: 1) stumble and stutter when asked "what do you do?" and 2) go on at great length about a wide variety of jobs they are willing to take. Act as if every conversation you engage in while networking is a mini job interview. You never know who you're talking to or who they know, so it's important to make a great impression in the short time you have.

Third, if they haven't networked much before, they can be reassured by knowing that networking consists of just four very simple steps, repeated over and over.

1. Go Places
2. Meet People
3. Exchange Value
4. Maintain Contact
   

This is 20 minutes of presentation. I hope that it gives them a good place to start networking. In my three years of speaking to the Central Valley Professionals Job Club, I've found that a lot of mid-level professional people haven't done a lot of networking or haven't done it for a long time. They are rusty, but just need some ground rules and encouragement.

Anything else vital that you would tell them?

Searching for Pearls of Wisdom

Ever find yourself wondering why in the world you're wasting time with someone who appears to be completely useless to you? I do too, although more and more I find myself completely fascinated by people who are terrible networkers, relentless sales sharks, and behave in other inexplicable ways. It's like a car wreck; you don't want to look but you wonder what happened. And just when you think there's no value, they'll say or do one little thing that made it worth the time spent.

My friend Jay Petersen of the Geeks Computer Service has a story about spending time with an advertising consultant way back when Jay first went into business. He spent several weeks working with the guy who seemed to be completely full of self-aggrandizing junk. After several formal sessions, they were having a casual dinner and in the course of normal conversation, the guy dropped a pearl of wisdom that made the whole thing worthwhile.

Too many of us don't have the patience to sort through chaff to get to the wheat. We expect everything to be pure and simple and laid out for us. I still hear people saying that they don't like networking because so many people they meet aren't their target market. Life isn't like that. You can't go to the "perfect customer store," you have to find the pearls of wisdom contained in the general mishmash of life.