Wednesday, March 03, 2010

More Persuasive Coffee with Kevin Hogan

Today he's actually drinking green tea. Every week Kevin Hogan, body language and persuasion expert, sends out an email newsletter. For three weeks in a row, there's been something in it that is fantastic for everyone who wants to network for better results. How about we just make it a regular thing? He sends out the email and I blog about it, okay?

I can sum up this week's persuasive point in one small word: shh! Kevin says the reason we lose sales, lose people's attention and don't get the cooperation we're looking for is that we talk too much. Have you ever talked yourself out of a sale? I know I have.

And yet, he cites a study that looked at how willing people were to help a stranger. When they sat in a room together for just a few minutes, the helping rate was about 50%. When there was a conversation, the helping rate was ... about 50%. Just the familiarity of sitting together made people willing to help someone else! Not a word was said and they were still willing.

The practical application of this in networking depends on something called "oscillation." People generally decide subconsciously what they are going to do in the less than the first minute. But then they go back and forth between yes and no. The more you talk, the more likely you are to "help" them decide against what you're asking them to do. In networking, you're "asking" them to trust and like you. If you dominate the conversation, pound them with a sales pitch, and don't let them talk about their own interests, you've lost that trust and liking. You'll have to work harder to gain it back.

I think I've said enough! What's your take on this idea?

Related posts:
Does Admitting a Weakness Strengthen the Relationship
Why You Should be Sharing Your Favorite Things, Hobbies & Interests with Other People

Photo from Flickr courtesy of Desirée Delgado

1 comment:

  1. Hi Beth
    Came over from Max Atkinson's site so it is appropriate that you should be talking about talking too much!
    Knowing when to pause is just as vital in a speech... not a skill that most of us practice.

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