How Are You? Just Fine!

Today was Clovis Leadership Day, the graduation ceremony for the Clovis Chamber's leadership development program. Jeff Eben was the speaker. He said many, many wise things, but one in particular echoed something I was thinking to myself after last night's Chamber mixer.

He talked about finding the wins you have each day, not complaining about your problems. Jeff said when he asks "How are you?" he just saying "Hi". He's not asking you for a list of your problems! This is a lesson that a lot of people haven't learned. In fact, it is a characteristic of the world's worst networkers.

When someone asks "How are you?" they really don't want to hear about your problems because:
  • Unless they are the cause of your problem, there's nothing they can do about it.
  • If this is the first or second time you have met them, you are now labeled as a complainer in their mind.
  • You're might be mentioning a body part that we can't see - and that's way too personal.
  • You are injecting negativity into a situation that is meant to be fun, such as a networking or business event.
  • You're wasting time whining about your life when you could be building a connection that could solve your problem.
  • Everybody has problems.

The world's worst networkers always have a problem and they're just waiting for you to ask how they are. Don't be one of them. Find the positive and happy things about how you are and leave your problems at home.

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