A Tale of Two Networkers Revisited

Remember my friend from "A Tale of Two Networkers?" He said he didn't need more friends right now. I was bemused but not amused.

Guess who emailed me today for help with something? At first, I was a little indignant and enjoyed the flagrant irony of the moment. But then I revised my thoughts on why he would say something like that and still look for help from me.
  1. He's stressed about the economy like everyone else is. That is understandable. And what he said wasn't hateful or nasty, just a little ... abrupt.

  2. His definition of "friend" is different from mine.
He's probably thinking of "friend" as someone you'd hang out and watch sports with. Someone whose company is pleasant and amusing, but not helpful in any sort of business way. If his business is struggling, then he doesn't have time to spare for socializing.

I think of friends very differently. I deliberately decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to keep my "business contacts" from becoming personal friends if there was simpatico. Sure, it's caused a few headaches (you know who you are!), but has been completely worth it.

If you and I have done business, I consider you a friend. And friends help each other with information, resources, and business development. If I have a lot of friends that I've helped, I'm going to enjoy a lot of success.

I hope my networker friend figures that out.


P.S. You don't have to wonder if I helped him, do you?

Should I Link All My Accounts?

Todd Schnick commented about yesterdays post (he read it and then gave back), asking if I think we should link our Twitter posts to Facebook. Thanks Todd! And thank you to Suzanne Moles who is a great giver by leading people in the Fresno area onto social networking sites.

Should you have your "tweets" post to Facebook? I guess it depends on how you Tweet, what you're doing with Twitter, and how you use Facebook. Personally, I don't do that because I carry on conversations on Twitter, which would look strange on Facebook (seeing only one side of a conversation). And, I think my audience is different for each site, so they might not be interested in hearing the same things.

If you're on 42 different social networking site, yes, maybe you want to repost from one account to another to save time. But to me, the purpose of these sites is to develop personal relationships, not so much advertising. So I think I'll keep them separate for now.

Oh! Except for Plaxo which (to me) doesn't have any interaction anyway :-)

What Can You Give in Social Media

If you're new to social media and this whole "cyberspace" thing, you've got to be curious about what you can actually give someone. Here are 5 ways to give to your online friends:

1. Relevant information

Please - if I get "This was in USA Today so it must be true, Microsoft is giving money for forwarding emails" just one more time ....

Give information that is relevant and timely to the person (or people) you are sharing it with. This can be in the form of a website link, a blog post, a picture, a news item, etc. It must somehow benefit or educate or enlighten them somehow.

2. Introduce them to someone they want to "meet"

Pass on that LinkedIn introduction request! Unless they are very obviously going to bother that person, of course, but that's what social networking is for. And don't wait for them to ask ... make a suggestion if you see they have a need.

3. If you blog, give them a mention

And link back to one of their relevant blog posts. The interweaving of blogs, links, Twitter profiles, etc. will not only help them, it will strengthen your entire network.

4. Comment on their blog

This is how bloggers know that someone is listening. A blog is meant to be a conversation, not a monologue. Don't lurk, participate!

5. Send them something on Facebook

I was initially very skeptical of this and stayed out of the whole "You received a frosty beer" and "You've received a 'lil green patch" thing. Then my friend Melaney Shaum told me how she sends all her new friends a flower (that I can't spell). It's created conversations and deepened relationships. But if you send them one and they ignore, don't keep sending.

Why Social Media Giving Can be Easy

I mentioned to someone who doesn't go online that it's sometimes easier to give to your social media friends than in person. They looked at me like I was making things up (I never make things up, I just tell the story in a more interesting way).

But you see their point, right? "How," they wonder, "can it be easier to give to people when you only interact with them in the electronic world?"

First, here some examples of why "giving" in the in person world is difficult:
  • If you are actually buying a gift, you have to go to the store, pick something out, and hope they like it. And, stuff costs money these days.
  • You found a magazine article that's relevant to their business. Do you fax it? Mail it? Carry it around for two weeks hoping you'll run into them?
  • You've got a lead for them. Do you call your friend with the prospect standing right there? Or do you make a mental note and then promptly forget?
Now, this is a bit tongue-in-cheek but here's why it's so easy to give through social media:
  • Found information on a website that you know they'd like? A few clicks and they have it.
  • Want to help them with a problem or question? One click and you've retweeted it. Or you can poll your contacts and have the answer within minutes.
  • Got a lead for them? Send one email to both the prospect and the business. Everyone is on the same page.
Do you see the theme? It's
immediacy
I see or read something you might like, and I can immediately bring it to your attention. If I want to help you with a problem that I have no clue about, I can rapidly poll a lot of people who probably know the answer. Or who are willing to tap into their contacts if they don't know the answer.

Tomorrow: What exactly can you give someone you've never met in person?

How to Meet Your Online Friends in the Real World

Unless you've got a strict "friends only" policy on LinkedIn, Facebook, or Twitter, you're likely to be connected to, or friends with, or following people you've never met in person.

For best results, try to meet - at least once - as many people in person as you can. It makes a huge difference in the quality of your on-line interaction to have, at some point, been face to face.

So how do you meet your online friends in person?

1. Just ask!

I "met" Hannah DeGroot (@Relocater) through Twitter. Because she was connected to me in other online ways, it was very natural to say "we should meet in person." We had a great time over coffee. Same thing with Shantay Davies (@NewHomesFresno)

It was just very natural for us to get together because we were all obviously business people exploring Twitter partly for fun, but mostly promotion and learning how to help our companies. Another thing that made it very easy: we're all three women. There's no uncomfortable overtones that might come from men inviting women and vice versa.

2. Go to a "TweetUp"

This is an open meeting that is called by someone online for a certain day, time, and place. Then everyone within range can come to mix and mingle. This is a very safe and easy way to meet a lot of your online friends. TweetUp is what they call it on Twitter, but it can be a Face2Face for your Facebook friends, or a LinkUp for your LinkedIn friends.

No one creating TweetUp's in your area? Set up your own! Find a friendly coffee shop or local restaurant owner who is willing to have a random crowd show up. They might even throw in some hors d'ouevres. Pick a date and time, then announce it to your friends and ask them to repeat it.

3. Attend a Networking Event

Local networking groups should be working hard to get established on social media and announce their events. Post or tweet an intention to attend and then ask who else is going. Ask them to be sure and look for you at the event. This is a double strategy because your online friend could serve to be your "buddy" if it turns out you don't know anyone else.


Tomorrow: How to give to other people on social media.

How to Stay in Touch with the Real World

Yesterday, I said today's topic would be how to do social networking while still keeping in touch with the real world. How ironic that I am sitting here in person with my friend Melaney Shaum and both of us are talking about social networking, while each of us is looking at a different computer. Like I've said before, social networking sure makes it complicated to explain how you know people.

We've been talking about how to best put the platform of social media to use, both personally and in business.

The bottom line of how to use it is: the same way you use in-person networking. As a way to find, develop, and grow relationships.

But here are some specific recommendations:
  • Focus on just a few sites and then tie them together to save time.
  • Limit the time you spend and concentrate it (during business hours) on the people who can help your business the most.
  • Have a policy for each site. For example, will you connect with anyone who asks? What will you do with the people you're connected with? Who are you going to spend your time on? Is it business or personal?
  • Get together in person. Not only is it okay, it should be your goal to meet as many of your "online" friends as possible.
Now, if your policy is to connect only with people you already know, you are going to limit yourself. I have heard it said that LinkedIn is for people you do know and that Twitter is for people you want to know. So connect online with people you would like to know (on Twitter, Facebook, or even LinkedIn) and work on meeting them in person.

Tomorrow: HOW to meet people from the online world in person.

P.S. If you know Melaney, but you're not connected to her on LinkedIn or Facebook, visit my profiles (www.BethOnLinkedIn.com and www.BethOnFacebook.com) and you'll find her.