One More Thing That's Easier (but it's not good)

I said yesterday that some things are easier with social networking than with in-person networking. Here's one I left off the list:

• It's much easier to spend way, waaayyy too much time on social networking sites than it is in-person.

Eventually, the mixer comes to an end and the Membership Director trots out the tired old phrase "you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here." In-person networking events tend to be self-limited. But once you go home (or back to the office) it's extremely tempting to log in to Facebook or starting answering questions on LinkedIn or check Twitter just one more time.

Who cares if you spend hours at a time on Facebook or LinkedIn? Besides your wife, husband, kids, dogs, friends, parents and your boss? Your pocketbook.

Let's face it, unless you are an independently wealthy shut-in (or make your living through on-line products and marketing), you probably need to still interact with other people in the real world. That interaction includes doing your job and running your business.

Do you know exactly how much time you are spending and what the return is? You may have to go so far as to log the time you spend online. While social networking can be very beneficial to your business (Justin Levy is a prime example), you still need to be very aware of the return on investment. Especially in today's economy where every minute and every penny counts.

Tomorrow: How to stay in touch with the real world.

Some Things are Easier in Social Media

Have you examined your in person techniques and feel ready to take the plunge into social networking? Good news, some things are easier!

• It's easier to keep up with the milestones of your friends' lives. Sounds strange, but sometimes we really care about someone, but we lost touch. Then we run into them, ask about the spouse, and find out the hard way that they're not together. Social networking helps avoid those awkward moments.
  
  
• Finding out what you have in common. It may never come up in conversation that you're a big fan of Douglas Adams, but quote him in a Twitter post and it's amazing how people will respond. Same thing with the 25 Things About Me that is making the rounds on Facebook. Some people think it's impersonal, but what a fun way to learn more about people you know!
  
  
• Giving. As important as giving and helping other people is, this alone could be the number one reason to get into social networking sites. It's easier to give online because information is so easy to find, share, and distribute. And information - the right information - can be extremely valuable.
  
  
• Remembering people's names! :-) Online and in person. If you forget people's names, find them on Facebook and study their FACE until you can remember their name.

Tomorrow: How to stay in touch with the real world, without having to ask your spouse to smash the computer.

More Reasons to Think Twice Before Social Networking

Avoid social networking if you're not good at in-person networking. Because there are some things that are exaggerated and if you're not good at them, it will be glaringly obvious.

Yesterday, I pointed out that you must give first. The nice thing about giving in the online world is that it is - I think - easier to do than in person. I'll have some ways to do that later in this series.

First, here are a few more aspects of networking that are even more important in the online world:

• Developing a positive reputation. If you really turn someone off or burn them, they can inform their entire complement of friends with just a few well-placed words. I'm sure it's happened many a time in the "kiddie land" of social networking (My Space) and sadly even in the more professional realms. Behave professionally to safeguard your reputation. And it doesn't hurt to set a Google alert for your name.
  
  
• Connecting other people. That is one of the reasons for the whole social networking thing. Every site has prompts, reminders, and systems in place to help you find people you know, may want to know, and should refer to others. By refusing to be part of the introduction and connection scene, you label yourself as being... not very social.
  
  
• Be consistent. In fact, don't even get on Twitter, Facebook, or LinkedIn if you're not going to check it every day. It makes you look worse to have an abandoned profile than to not have one at all.

Tomorrow: Good news! Some networking actions that are actually easier on social media.

Why You Shouldn't do Social Networking

I had a good conversation with Todd Schnick of the Intrepid Group, LLC on Twitter today, during which I realized I could summarize the point of yesterday's post as:

Don't get into social networking if your in-person* networking sucks!

Because:

1. You're wasting your time and other people's time on social networking sites if you are unwilling to work from a mutually beneficial stance. Just email me your brochure if you want to prospect. Don't make me wade through your pseudo-free-invitation/informational link just to find out you want to sell me something.
   
   
2. Social networking sites give us such a narrow view of a slice of each others lives, that everything is magnified. Good and bad traits are out of proportion, because we don't have a lot of context to put them in.

Giving first is even more important on social networking than in person. If you start the conversation with "gimme, gimme, gimme" it is very easy for me to ignore/block/unfriend you online than in person. I might see you again somewhere, so I'll still be polite and perhaps give you a second chance. If I block you on Twitter - no second chance.

...Tomorrow: other habits/traits that are more important on social media.

*Thank you Daniel Klotz for the suggestion of this term to mean non-social-networking networking.

Check your Networking Foundation First

Welcome to my friends from the San Joaquin Valley Black Chamber of Commerce, who so graciously allowed me to be their speaker today as part of their Business Presentations Series.

We had a great time, but for those who missed the first part of the presentation, I'll recap it over the next few days.

Before you even begin consider social media and social networking, check your networking foundation to make sure you have rock-solid principles and have developed positive habits.

• Are you willing to think long-term? Networking is definitely not a get-rich-quick scheme.
• Is your goal to develop relationships? Or just sell and move on.
• Are you networking with like-minded people? You don't have to be around people who are similar to you, just people who agree that networking is built around relationships.
• Do you seek to find something in common with people? You can be as different as imaginable, but once you discover that you have something special in common, the rest of the differences go away.
• Do you seek to give first? Networking is about give-and-take. Notice that the "give" is first.

Tomorrow I'll talk about the positive in-person networking traits that are even more important on social media.

Adding Social Media to your Networking Strategy

The key to this is to add social media to your networking. It's not a substitute. Nor is it a good way to avoid starting a serious, consistent in-person networking program.

It's like becoming a professional juggler. They all started out with the basic three balls. Then when they have perfected that simple foundation, they add chainsaws and flaming torches. That's the icing on the cake, but they never abandon the basics.

Here are some tips for adding social media to your networking strategy while keeping touch with the real world:

• Don't get into social media until and unless you feel comfortable meeting new people in the offline world. It could become too tempting to get online and stay there.
• Some of the basics of real-world networking (find out what you have in common with people, give first, help people get connected, slowly building trust and a reputation) are twice as important in the social media.
• Take it offline as much as possible. It's nice to have Facebook or Twitter contacts, but when push comes to shove (or it's time to do business), real-world friends have the edge.
• Some things are easier online: remembering peoples' names (ha ha), finding out what you have in common (you can skip the small talk), and keeping track of each other (just click on their home page).
• Some other not-so-good things are easier too: "tweets" (they are only 140 characters) or emails are more easily misunderstood (causing hurt feelings or worse), it's a lot easier to be ignored, and unfriending or unfollowing is a lot easier to do than to tell someone in person you don't want to spend time with them.
  

Words of Wisdom from the Super Bowl

My favorite part of the Super Bowl today, besides the Steelers' winning? The interview at the end.

The reporter asked head coach Mike Tomlin, the youngest to ever win the Super Bowl, if he ever felt like he was in over his head. It was clear the reporter expected this young man to admit to doubt, fear, or other feelings of inadequacy.

Instead, Coach Tomlin said, "No. I had great belief..."

He had great belief in the people who believed in him, team owners Art and Dan Rooney, and the players who depended on him. Mostly though, it sounds to be me that he believed in himself.

When you have a great passion for something and you know you put everything you have into it, you can have a great belief in yourself.