When it Starts to Compound

Like so many things, networking feels like a lot of work for very little result when you're first starting out. I have a friend who has been in her new financial planning business for less than a year. She's got a terrific, positive attitude, but sometimes feels like she'd doing a lot of work with little to show for it. Sometimes, she thinks she's not doing it right. She is, of course, but the feeling that you're working away for nothing can be tough to fight.

I reminded her the other day that I have been active in our business community for about 17 years! Of course it looks like I had a fabulous network spring up out of nowhere when I started working for the Chamber, but it was the culmination of patient relationship-building that seemed to grow almost imperceptibly sometimes.

But the last five years, and especially the last 12 months, have felt like the exponential side of the curve. My network seems to grow rapidly and almost effortlessly, but it's because of the compounding of many years of background work, combined with a deliberate cultivation of my networking skills.

Don't let the early stages discourage you. Motivate yourself by thinking ahead to the day when the compounding of your efforts really begin to show. I can tell you, it feels great!

Don't Network a Bad Reputation

I had the good fortune today to be directed to a blog post by Steve Chandler, a multi-book author, coach, speaker and consultant. The post is "I can't get to you from here." In it, he talks about the believe that it's not what you know, but who you know. The story is worth reading, there are multiple lessons in it.

Here's Steve's first point:
  • It doesn't matter if you know a lot of people (i.e have a big network) if you don't do something terrific.
Of course! If you are mediocre, or lousy, or sloppy at what you do, all that networking is going to accomplish for you is to make sure that a lot of people know you don't do a good job. Absolutely you have to be able to back up your networking with work, products, and services that are excellent.

His second point:
  • You can achieve great things if you don't know it's impossible or very improbable.
So often, it's not reality that trips us up, it's our perception of reality. There is a great book called "The Phantom Tollbooth" in which the main character accomplishes something impossible because no one told him it was impossible. The book is intended for children, but I think I'll hunt down a copy and keep it with my motivational reading.

How to Say No without Hard Feelings

"You must be good at saying no."

My friend Regina Leathers observed this after I told her that many, many people have approached me to be part of their direct marketing organizations. (If you can get the Membership Director of your local chamber to be part of your downline, go for it. They would be a very lucrative team member for you with all the people they meet.)

I realized I am good at saying "no". For two reasons.

First, it is much easier for me to say no than to agree to something I know I wouldn't be able to give 100% to. I'd prefer to not do it than give it a half-a$$ed effort.

Second, I never say just "no." I almost always say "No, but..." As in "No, I can't be part of your nutrition business, but I can introduce you to a lot of people who might be interested." Or "No, I can't be part of another committee, but I will forward the information to someone who is looking to volunteer."

I'm not able to give them what they want, but I can give them something else of value. It makes it a lot easier for them to hear "no" when there's another item offered. And, it tells them "I'm may not be interested in this, but I still value you and our relationship."

Networking Lessons from My Grandmother

My grandmother was a great networker. She accomplished some amazing things in her life, which I realize now she could never have done without being a terrific relationship-builder.

One thing she did all the time was to clip items of note out of the newspaper and send the articles to friends. Recipes or obituaries of people she knew went to her sisters. And they sent her their own clippings back. She was like the Guy Kawasaki of the pre-Twitter days. She was always looking for items of interest to her friends. Probably one of the reasons she had so many.

In retrospect, I learned a lot about networking from her without even realizing it.

My grandmother got more personal letters in the mail than anyone I knew. She also got dozens of birthday cards each year. When I asked her why she got so many, she told me, "You have to send letters to get letters." And isn't that exactly how networking is? You have to send (give) __________ to get ___________. Fill in the blanks with whatever you want.