Can You Do Too Much?

Is it possible to do too much networking? Sure, you can overdo anything, but if done right, there's really no such thing as too much networking.

Question is, how do you do a heavy networking campaign right?

Be everywhere: If you're going to be part of a group such as a chamber ribbon cutting team, go to all their events. You'll be an expected fixture at that particular type of gathering, and missed when you're gone. So you're "present" even if you're not there.

Be selective: Sounds contrary to the first item, doesn't it? But if you're going to be a member of a lot of groups, be as diverse as possible. If half the people in your book club are also in your leads club, you're not getting exposure to as many different people.

Be impeccable: Have great manners or you'll be the boorish guy or girl who goes to everything, hands over their card to unsuspecting guests, and then hits the buffet. You want to be a networker, not a freeloader. Make sure that you are an appropriate addition to the group. Don't join just to sift through for business - try to have other reasons to be there. This is especially important when people start to notice: "Oh, you're just everywhere, aren't you?" Have a light or humorous response with a good reason besides peel and eat shrimp to be there.

Be focused: You need to know why you're out there and what you want to do. For example, you have a new business and you need to get the name out there. Or you have a new job and you need to generate a lot of new leads right away.

Be realistic: Be honest with yourself: are you getting results from your networking or are you just trying to avoid the stuff you don't enjoy? If you're an extrovert, sometimes you end up networking just for the fun of it, not working at making new relationships or strengthening old ones.

Be done with it: It's like a political campaign. At some point, you'll reach a saturation point. You can't maintain a high level of intensity forever. After a while you might get tired of the pace and start going through the motions as opposed to really working to meet people and develop relationships. Taper off, don't drop out of everything at once. You'll need to attend those events at a certain level to maintain your new relationships. And, you need to do all the work that your networking campaign has generated.

Who Do You Need to Call?

I spoke today at the Central Valley Professionals, a job club, about networking to find a job. It's too late to start building a network when you begin a job search. You really need to rely on the people you already know. Along the way, you can strengthen your existing network and even grow it so the next time you're looking for a job it will be much easier.

I encouraged them to get back in touch with people they haven't spoken to in a while. These are some of your "weak ties" - co-workers from a past job, old friends, fellow alumni, people from a club you used to be in - people you once had a fairly strong relationship with, but are somewhat out of touch.

Is it ingenuous to suggest that you get back in touch with these people without motive? But still looking for help that they might be able to offer in your job search? Maybe it's the excuse you need to call them. If you imagine that they would be glad to hear from you again, why not have something concrete to call about?

It is important though, that you make sure to keep the relationship going after you get a job. If you called them just to get something from them without intending to rebuild your relationship then your insincerity will be worse than never having called them at all.

Why Don't You ...

Why don't you network more? You know you should. Is it like exercising? You're completely aware of how good for you it is - otherwise you'll get decrepit before your time - but it's so easy to come up with the excuses and so hard to fight inertia.

Here's some reasons I think people don't network and my answer to these objections.

You're too busy - There are so many factors behind this, but it comes down to, fundamentally, that you don't find networking to be a valuable use of your time. You just don't see how networking is that important to you. Or you don't feel it produces sufficient results that you can justify for the time spent away from other activities. But if you're a business owner, there's always more work to be done. Isn't there some of the busywork that can be outsourced to a reliable company? If it's not worth the $20 an hour to free yourself up for this vital aspect of modern business, then examine some of the other objections in this list.

Other people are too "clique-y" - See my earlier post on August 7. It's one of two things: you're feeling a little out of place because you're not confident enough, or, you're not networking in the right place. Yes, you can network anywhere, but events given over to the pursuit of new contacts and relationship-building are the best if you're new to the activity. And, sometimes, it's just not the right place or a good group, no matter who you are.

You're too shy - You don't have to be a raving extrovert to be a good networker. In fact, listening skills are vital. If you're terribly nervous about meeting strangers, make sure that you are prepared in advance by knowing what the group is, what they do, and who is hosting it. Don't jump right in to a big mixer, try a smaller group such as a leads club. Try the buddy system: ask your outgoing friend if they'll go with you. Of course they will - they love that stuff, just don't let them abandon you in their excitement!

You don't like people - Well, maybe it's not that you don't like them, but you're just not that interested in other people. You'll have to get over that! People are pretty important in the whole networking picture. Maybe you're just not finding enough in common. Finding a point of similarity is a very important first step. This is why "small talk" is actually important - you're figuring out what you have in common.


Why else don't people network like they should? I'm interested in hearing what you think so let me know.

Getting Away ...

Not getting away for vacation, or getting away for the weekend, but getting away from that person at a networking event who just ... won't ... end the ... conversation.

I talked to one of our members who is a little bit new to networking (but doing a great job so far). She had a good time at one of our recent events, but mentioned that she had a hard time getting away from someone who was monopolizing the conversation.

She did the right thing. Very politely, but honestly, she told the person that she had to move on to talk to some more people. I told her that was perfect - you should always be honest. Don't feel bad about telling someone "I really have to keep moving" or "I need to meet a few more people". That is the truth, even if the deeper truth is that you've heard way too much detail about their personal life or feel like you're getting the hard sell and that's why you have to move on.

Remember, too, that these people might be clinging to you because they feel shy or uncertain and you're a safe haven for them. So instead of "ditching" them, introduce them to someone else and help them feel more comfortable.

Socializing is something everyone should learn to help them with "mingling" and events, but too many networking books make the mistake of treating the social skills like they are the only skill set you need to be an effective networker. It's certainly important, but only the first level. The member who I talked to has one of deeper skills, which is relationship building. So keep it up A.B.!